Mostly, we wonder if these super-advanced beings are so bored with their own planet that they're willing to travel thousands of lightyears to stick objects into the orifices of Earthlings. Because we're entirely self-absorbed and are too lazy to imagine ourselves developing a way for us to find them. We're saving our technological prowess for developing toilets that flush themselves. Yeah.
I couldn't imagine how these presumably highly intelligent life forms would find us entertaining. But then again, we are considered an advanced civilisation, and there are plenty of people who give me reason to doubt that claim. For reasons beyond comprehension there is actually a sport called Worm Charming. Ranking right up there with watching paint dry and grass grow, the object is to charm the worms from the earth by using water and vibrating the soil. Yes, these people live among us. So it got me thinking, maybe the aliens that deign to visit Earth are not the cream of the alien crop? Maybe the aliens that visit are not the same ones that invented space travel back on their planet? You know, ordinary did-you-buy-milk-and-bread kind of aliens. Just look at the people you drive past on the freeway; how many of them could have invented a car?
There is so much of information available about alien abductions and UFO sightings on the internet. People who have 'actual footage' of these events that they were lucky enough to witness. And all these grainy images resemble saucers and garbage can lids. What are the odds that so many garbage can lids are flying around without our notice? It's just so much more likely that the skies are filled with unidentified flying spacecrafts. Well-played, aliens.
I think we can logically conclude that the photo evidence are accounts of visits from other life forms. That begs the question, where are they from? The popular view is that these creatures are from a distant planet. This assumes three things about our aliens:
- They are capable of intergalactic travel.
- They are capable of finding us in the vastness of space.
- Their stealth technology makes images of their ships resemble grainy pictures of garbage can lids.
As plausible as this may seem, we must consider my theory on the other logical alternative: There are already aliens living among us, they are just smart enough to stay hidden from the general population. Consider: is it easier to build a spaceship capable of intergalactic travel, or hide behind some trees? I mean, look at fuel prices.
You may have noticed that our world harbours many people who are smarter than others. For example, the average IQ of the general population is 100. On the other side of the spectrum, we have the Byron Brassels and Marilyn vos Savants, who tip the scales at around 200 on the IQ scale. From their perspective, there is little difference between the average individual and a dog, except maybe the dog is cuter. Who do you think they'd rather spend time with?
I'm guessing they wouldn't want to hang around with the plebeians. Being super-smart, they would find an alternative. They would find a place where they could live among one another, and create an elaborate cover story to keep the plebs away. Maybe such a place exists on Earth. And the people who live there are the aliens.
Naturally, these aliens would be distinguishable from the public by these simple measures:
- They would not partake in wars.
- They would carry with them very, very accurate pocket watches.
- They would appreciate fine chocolates and coffees.
- Their pocketknives would be extraordinary.
- They would have the highest standard of living.
- They would understand all my jokes.
Every other weekend, when they aren't feigning a living by constructing intricate mathematical functions and defying gravity, they take their hovercrafts out for a spin and go trolling for people with cameras. It's a game, see. And my hypothesis is that after years of progressive evolution, these super-smart beings would have evolved into skinny, grey creatures with huge eyes, but by then, the plebeians would all have nuked each other, and then they would have no reason to hide.
You may think I'm jumping to conclusions here, but is this not what we fear from them? Total world domination. This is my theory, and in the future you will see that I am right.
